Listen: How to find the words for Tender Conversations. Kathryn Mannix

Well loved copy as have lent it to many!

I stumbled across this one after listening to the Word of Mouth podcast by one of my favourite authors Michael Rosen and his guest Kathryn Mannix. Have a listen if you’re into finding out random facts about words at https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m0013hrc She was on the podcast to discuss her latest book, a guide to supporting others going through difficult or challenging times. Mannix captivatingly told the story of her early days as a trainee doctor, having to complete the sensitive task of telling someone their husband had died. She followed the academic steps, did all the right things yet it led to her being hit across the face! From this, she has developed a more humane approach to tender conversions which we all can seamlessly adopt.

I’d like to think I’m a good listener but even I’m no stranger to butting in with unhelpful comments like “at least it’s not x” or “don’t worry” when someone has entrusted me with a probelm. Mannix explains that it’s in our human nature to innocently attempt to make things better, to fill silences and try to help by relating their situation to a similar experience. Although these can work for some conversations and certain individuals, there are more simple and effective strategies. Truly listening! Simply acknowledging their feelings, naming how it makes you feel to be opened up to, retelling what they have said in your own words and the power of delicate touch.

What I love most is Mannix’s choice of genre. It’s a combination of a memoir, self-help book with aspects of fiction. There are characters going through relatable experiences ranging from illness, grief, sexuality, money concerns and disagreements in public situations, this is a mean to explore a plethora of strategies managing conversations in a variety of contexts. Many of these situations are inevitable, so why not be prepared for them?

It’s mostly conversational, the fictional aspects are written beautifully as she sets the scene and it’s not at all patronising. Some of the suggestions can appear unrealistic, such as “I’m open to a discussion but let’s eat first as I won’t be able to focus”. Imagine telling someone they have to wait to open up because you’re hungry!

I’ll admit it’s another one of my niche books, however judging by the reviews by an eclectic audience, she’s done very well. Based on the content of unfortunate situations, it is a difficult book to read when not in the mood. I often read it on the commute to and from work but i couldn’t always read it after a tricky teaching day. I’d recommend it as a holiday book surrounded in a happy environment to read in one go!

To Kill a Mockingbird Special

As you may have noticed, I can become rather obsessed and fixated on books I thoroughly enjoy (see my second post on A Clockwork Orange). So much so that I reread, purchase multiple copies, watch any films and in this case, even see a West End play!

My review below will contain teeny spoilers from the novel, theatre production and the second book “Go Set a Watchman”. I don’t usually like to do as I think the best cultural experiences are when you go in relatively open minded. Nonetheless, let’s begin with Harper Lee’s novel.

A rightful modern classic brimming with poignant themes of moral justice, class and race written in 1960. It is most definitely worth the hype due to her exploring topics which would have been taboo at the time including gender inequality, addiction and the concept of othering. Despite its heavy themes, the novel gained instant popularity which deservingly continues to this day.

The story is loosely based on her own experiences as a ten year old child in Alabama, much like her protagonist Scout Finch. A confident tom-boy dressed in overalls, extremely close to her older brother, Jem, we observe their tumultuous childhood in a small fabricated town of Maycomb, Alabama, over the course of three years. Almost feeling like a fly on the wall, readers observe how Scout, Jem and eventually their friend Dill, become exposed to the harshness of life through witnessing the lives of their vivid, complex neighbours and harsh impact of their father’s multifaceted rape trial case. Despite the abhorrent racial injustice, alcholism, drug abuse and murder, it is the character of Atticus Finch that reminds readers of morality in difficult situations. He is the epitome of goodness which many admire and aspire to be in the novel and in reality! The novel itself can be split in half; the first of which is the children’s fascination with the mystery of their infamous neighbour Boo Radley. The children re-enact his intriguing life story as they play and the other is the exceptional court case in which Atticus defends a black man on trial for raping a white young woman. It’s a read that tugs on your heartstrings whilst being unable to put down (I literally walked to work with book in hand!). I haven’t read anything so insightful, gripping and powerful in an exceedingly long time.

Having been unable to stop talking about how good the book is, my friend read it herself and then we ventured to the theatre! Thanks to Rush Tickets on ‘Todaystix’ the tickets were cheap and in such good seats. The stage itself was simple (as shown above), which became a mini Maycomb as actors brought on moveable sets based on the many locations in the novel. From the Finch household’s front porch, the impressive court case with racial segregation and their neighbour’s houses, each set helped to bring the book alive. We were initially taken aback by the change in narrative order, however they focussed on the ending, ‘How did Bob Ewell stab himself?” Then recreating the novel through flashbacks.

Despite by obsession with all things To Kill a Mockingbird, this sequel however was not welcome. I must admit I only read the first few chapters or so but there were too many changes, I refused to persevere. Number 1. Jem had died. Why on earth would she kill him off? Ok, fine it does make a nice plot twist to book readers since it’s set twenty years after the first. But since having a very close brother, I found this too heartbreaking. Number 2. Atticus is a racist. It’s absolutely absurd that he’d become a racist in his old age as it completely taints the themes in the original. Despite my opinions, there is a plethora of media controversies surrounding its release since it was published sixty years after the first, whereby critics believe Lee wasn’t in the right state to be agreeing to legal formalities that come with publishing. In addition, Go Set a Watchman was supposedly written before To Kill a Mockingbird and Lee’s publisher seemingly encouraged her to set the story through the eyes off child Scout. This can’t be the case as the second book is filled with references to the first. It’s got a lovely front cover, I’ll give it that! The concept of adult Scout returning to Maycomb with her mature perspective and the contention surround civil rights movement does make an intriguing plot. It’s unfortunate those changes make such an impact for me to continue. Let me know your thoughts if you persevered!

Whether you read the second book, watch the West End play (which ends in London this May 2023!) or most definitely read the novel, it will be worth it. Harper Lee’s novel is timeless and 100% worth the read.

Natives: Race and class in the ruins of empire. A book by Akala

Reading Natives at the Wellcome Collection Library.

I was brought up encouraged ‘not to see race’. What comes to mind when you hear this? Such discussion came to light when my English friend and colleague recommended Natives: Race and class in the ruins of empire (hereafter referred to as Natives) to me. She was provided with a copy during her university’s ‘Big Read’, which purposefully chose a thought-provoking book to spark discussions regarding race among staff and pupils. She and I did exactly this; we explored the ignorance behind such common phrases and determined how absurd it was of us to dismiss the complexities of race in a passing comment. Our conversation was a mere fragment of Akala’s masterful, stimulating book. As a popular Hip-Hop Artist, author and social entrepreneur, most recently included in the 100 Most Influential Black British People list, he uses his platform as an active speaker to discuss diversity and inclusion in a wide range of settings. In Natives, he eloquently highlights the impact of inextricably linked race and class through an autobiographical lens, supported by a plethora of historical, socio-economic and political sources from the 1980s to present day (notably published in 2019, prior to the 2020 BLM protests). From being infamously ‘Stopped and Searched’, witnessing murder and enduring racism from teachers all before he was sixteen, Akala leaves no stone unturned by outlining the British Empire’s scandals influencing all aspects of his life.

It’s impossible to list all of the controversial topics covered in Natives. He carefully begins with his childhood in 1980s multi-cultural Camden, drawing readers in with his innocent, naiive perception of life as a mixed-race boy loving martial arts and gifted in Mathematics. This idyllic view of life is imminently shattered when name-called for being mixed race in primary school. From here, he explores the origins of racial bias, issues in education, miseducation of slavery, Windrush Generation, gang culture, the impact of music, the KKK and Britain’s involvement in South African apartheid to name a few. By relaying statistics, reports and quotes from influential leaders, Akala encourages the reader to make their own opinions based on facts. I like how he acknowledges that this tells the story of only one Black Brit, despite the countless multifaceted experiences of others, including myself. This emphasises the importance of education and having seemingly difficult conversations. Well, by reading this book, it’ll make anyone question their role in society.

It is a purposefully heavy book, one that did impact me greatly when reading since it reminded me of the doom and gloom of the world! Although, it is an important read and so gripping I finished it in two days (subtle brag!). Despite the tons of references, the autobiographical nature meant that he makes some interesting remarks particularly regarding American politics and even Brexit, but it sparked me to consider my beliefs and want to challenge him! Akala uses rich vocabulary and many ‘woke’ terms but he explains them well and avoids using them in a tokenistic way which so many newly published books on race seem to include. My other favourite aspect is his celebration of his mixed race culture. From his exhilarating visits to his Mum’s side of the family in Scotland crossing Stinky Bridge eating haggis to his memories growing up London influenced by his Caribbean family calling everyone ‘aunty’ and ‘uncle’. It was comforting to hear the beauty of a range of cultures shaping him as an individual, which was reminiscent of my own childhood.

If you are in a book rut, have nothing to read, want to feel passionate or want to be educated on Black British history…read it! 5/5

Stoner by John Williams

This was an unusual charity shop find. Having rekindled my love for reading after completing To Kill a Mockingbird (blog pending!), I was doubtful I’d find anything as gripping for a long time. This was partially correct, since Stoner was an initially dull read about life which became one I couldn’t stop thinking about. In hindsight, its mundane aspect was the entire point of the novel.

Readers follow the life of William Stoner (no, he was not an actual stoner) from his first day at the University of Missouri in 1910 until his demise after lecturing at the university, experiencing heartbreak and discovering the complexities of fatherhood. That is honestly all there is to it! Williams writes eloquently, with incredible detail and explores the intricate inner thoughts of a somewhat contented man throughout his life. It was difficult not to be attached to him and the vivid characters in Stoner’s simple relationship circle. Similar to that of a reality show, you become slightly obsessed with every aspect of his life, despite vaguely knowing what is to come.

Stoner is regarded as a Campus novel based on its prime setting on the university campus. With that in mind, there were many pages of references to famous writers such as Shakespeare, Keats and references to Anglo-Saxon Poetry, which were apt for the storyline however I did have to cheekily skip over! Otherwise, it was a classic depressing old book, growing in popularity according to a Guardian article in 2013, so a bit of a cult classic! I’d give it a 4/5 as I was moved by the end and reminded of the futility of life throughout.

Flushed by W. Hodding Carter

Before you think this’ll be a load of crap (pun intended) it was actually an interesting and insightful read into the history of plumbing. There’s something very British about waterworks being taboo, however it’s the one thing we all have in common! I borrowed this book from a friend at work as her father was intrigued by someone else reading it on the train. In this borrowed copy, I love how he folded down a page where the author wrote a paragraph collating all the euphemisms for using the toilet, “pee, poo, wee-wee, spend a penny etc,” very comical for a serious man!

Which goes to show that it’s a niche book but not a bad read! Carter discuss’ how his fascination (more like an obsession) about plumbing stems from trying to avoid paying for a plumber and thinking, “How hard can it be?”. When, in reality, it is way more intricate and complex than it seems. He appreciates the impact of early civilisations inventing methods for managing their waste, such as the Romans using efficient pipe work that we still use today. He was in awe of the clever engineering that has evolved over centuries. He was so committed to this book, he even took a trip from the USA to London just to take part in a sewer visit and invested in a Japanese toilet.

There was a lot of pages about various materials used for pipework and the science behind it, which reminded me of science lessons I tuned out of! However, it was written in a conversational way and overall easy to follow, with personal anecdotes and relatable comparisons.

Worth a read if you need a wild card!

3/5

The Outsider by Albert Camus

Borrowed copy of The Outsider, watermarks sand folds galore!

I was recommended this book without any information and was utterly hooked. So, I won’t reveal too much either! Also, can we take a moment to appreciate my borrowed copy with its watermarks and folds?

Albert Camus immediately immerses his readers from the morbid first lines, ”My mother died today. Or maybe yesterday, I don’t know.” This really should have been an indicator into the tragic and existential themes of this novella, however I was far too distracted by the vivid sun symbolism I thought it would transpire into a happy ending. The first person narrative immersed us into the life of Meursalt, a Frenchman living in Algeria, unperturbed by his mother’s death and the ripple effect of his actions following her funeral. Set across a matter of days, it highlighted how one interaction can spiral considerably and explores society’s morality.

I initially read this without the context in mind, however it really does make an impact on the read. It is also worth noting it was initially in French so this modern classic translated it with nuances of Camus. Having been set during ww2, the impact of the fragilitiy and meaning of life is explicitly explored by Camus. Critics have mentioned him being part of the absurdist movement whereby the purpose of life is influenced by human morality. Such philosophical themes underpin the book, leaving you with life’s big questions. It reminded me of my favourite book, A Clockwork Orange by Anthony Burgess, with the question being, “Should you be forced to be good or chose to be?” whereas for The Outsider, it’s “Should you choose to show emotion or be forced to?”. It’s completely open to interpretation, with a plethora of philosophical questions, but that is what resonated with me the most.

5/5 as I was left with tons of emotions and food for thought. I was completely taken aback by The Outsider. Completely gripped, I was relieved to have found a book I couldn’t put down and completed it overnight (only one hundred or so pages)!

The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe. The Chronicles of Narnia by C.S Lewis.

Upon my return to my family home for Christmas, I realised I hadn’t brought the book I was reading (Oliver Twist book review pending!). Thankfully, I had an abundance of childhood books to choose from therefore stumbled across The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe (I’ll just call it Narnia from now on). It was another one of those books that I’m sure I was read to as a child but can’t actually recall anything about it besides the iconic film. Or, a really early memory of World Book Day in Year Two when I wore this stunning White Witch costume and my friends and I re-enacted the film! Nonetheless, I was in for a tremendous treat this Christmas! Narnia is a quintessential British classic and rightfully so.

C.S Lewis clearly knew how to keep children entertained as by the first page, he had explained how evacuated siblings (Lucy, Peter, Edmund and Susan) moved into their new home and was pleasantly surprised by their benevolent owner of a historic, impressive house. By the fourth page, loveable Lucy had already stumbled across the wardrobe. But it wasn’t an ordinary wardrobe…it was an entrance into the spectacular world of Narnia! A magical place which has been taken over by an evil white witch and forced to be an infinite winter (without Christmas as we are repeatedly reminded) until two daughters of Eve and two sons of Adam take the throne.

It is a much beloved tale, full of wonder and wholesome sense of adventure. My favourite aspect was the little hint of history it portrays, since the characters heartily devour a cup of tea and a slice of Victoria sponge, with a special treat of a side of sardines! As to be expected for 1950, since Britain was recovering after the Second World War. C.S Lewis captures children’s innocence and sense of curiosity perfectly. The story comes alive with relatable animals and fantasy creatures met along the way. With huge undertones of Christianity, such as the omnipotent and gracious character of Aslan, being an allegory for Jesus. Since C.S Lewis eventually became an advocate for Christianity. However, the goodness and morals of hope from the book can benefit children and adults alike.

From a literary perspective, I felt like I was in Narnia from his vivid descriptions and rather high level vocabulary (‘saccharine’ being a notable favourite!). Although, he did use many ‘ands’ in one sentence…but that could be my inner teacher finding it bothersome! Arguably, it could be interpreted as a mean of creating tension during a battle scene and to mimic children’s awe as they first enter Narnia.

I would honestly give this novel a 10 out of 10 and I really understand why it’s such an iconic classic. It’s now one I’ll have to read every Christmas…or if I’m in a book rut. You almost feel transported to being a child again! I was so obsessed with this book, I’ve now begun to read it to my class and these are a group of children who whine at story time …yet now they’re engrossed in the story and whining when I have to pause the story for home time!

How to Give Up Plastic: Simple steps to living consciously on our blue planet. Will McCallum

As the head of oceans for Greenpeace, Will McCallum wrote this guide based on the ubiquitous amount of plastic litter he had come across during his travels across the globe, particularly in Antartica (hundreds of miles away from permanent human inhabitation). In an inviting, matter-of-fact and practical way, McCallum invites readers to reduce their plastic impact throughout their daily life.

Each chapter denotes how to reduce plastic using simple steps, such as carrying a reusable water bottle, refusing straws, suggestions of reputable brands for reusable nappies and even how to organise a safe protest. He reinforces that small changes can make a massive difference. He acknowledges the importance of plastics, particularly in the medical field and drew attention to the functionality of straws and their alternatives for individuals with disabilities.

I really like how the author addresses the need for a top-down approach, since governments and large cooperations have a lot to answer for and have a large part to play. Although, he highlights that if as consumers, we don’t raise our voices and try to shop differently, only then will they decide to listen and make positive changes. I personally find that eco-products can be so much more expensive; I adore my local ‘Planet Organic’ shop however nearly faint at the total of my few purchases. Although, this guide encourages bulk buying of bathroom and kitchen products and even making your own products using household items. The end of each chapter comes with a checklist to actively make changes from each section.

Overall, it’s a quick, light read for during the holidays or to read a chapter on the go! To feel empowered, make small, practical differences and spread the word of how to manage the current climate situation. 4/5 as most ways can be found on insta, yet reinforced in one book format.

Everybody else is perfect by Gabrielle Korn

What an empowering, inspiring and thought-provoking read! To sum up, i’ll begin with a quote from Gabrielle Korn’s memoir which resonated highly with me and encapsulates the theme of her book,

‘We could all benefit from seeing ourselves the way the people who love us do!’

Now, I’m not the one to adore such cringey, life-changing quotes (we’re all too familiar with the infamous ‘live, laugh, love’). Nonetheless, using her media lens, Gabrielle addresses the intensive pressures for women to always be ‘their best selves’. Her quote highlights how often women are more likely to compliment their friends and others despite lacking the self-love based on ever-changing representations in the media and a dire history of oppression. Her personal, intimate essays address poignant themes and guides her readers to reflect on their own experiences to find their own inner strength.

Gabrielle as the first lesbian, Jewish editor in Chief of fashion, Nylon Magazine, shares her personal life experiences from childhood to adulthood. This was inherently abundant in ubiquitous incidences of everyday sexism, sexual harassment, homophobia, managing anorexia and ultimately how the fashion industry she was actively involved with reinforced such pressing issues. She elaborated on her success in diversifying aspects of her magazine by improving representations of women from all backgrounds and body shapes and ensuring she promoted more of a ‘woke’ audience with articles on ‘beauty secrets for self-love ‘ rather than ‘beauty secrets to attract your man’ prominent during the early 2000s. Published this year, the recent shift in ideologies toward feminism is documented by Gabrielle who highlighted the impact of the ‘Me too Movement’ regarding sexual harassment, particularly how America was influenced with Trump as president. Each chapter flicks and flips between various stages of her life, therefore drawing upon experiences relevant to a subject matter of the time.

The most important message I learnt fro her memoir was to prioritise self-care as a young, working woman. This of course applies to anyone! Based on her experiences, over-working and draining herself for a job which paid her unequally compared to a male, deeply influenced her mental health. She eloquently described how her romantic relationships were affected by her work and how important such aspects of life intertwine with one another. By reminding her readers that women seem ‘perfect’, with a flawless appearance, successful job and dream partner then they would be complete, however everything is not what it seems.

The conversational tone married with such heavy subjects made this an easy read, but with lots of food for thought. I found myself talking about it with every friend that I had seen, regardless of gender! It’s an empowering read to hear about such topics expressed in such a clear way. However, as she addresses herself, based on her white, privileged background some points were difficult to empathise or relate to. Although, as to be expected with memoirs, it’s opinion based and personal so I took these with a pinch of salt and admired her passion for feminism and openness to create a positive representation for women.

4/5!

The Hundred-Year-Old Man Who Climbed Out of the Window and Disappeared by Jonas Jonasson

If you’re looking for something somewhat bizarre, loosely based on historical events and an unlikely adventure, then this is the book for you!

I’d always had this on my reading list due to its huge success as an International Best Seller. Swedish author Jonas Jonasson worked in the media and entertainments industry for twenty years until he decided to sell all of his belongings and move abroad to Switzerland. Here was where he wrote and based his book ‘The Hundred-Year-Old-Man Who Climbed Out of The Window and Disappeared’. Jonasson invites readers to follow the extraordinary life of Allan Karlsson who escapes from his care home just before his elaborate one hundredth birthday. Still wearing his aptly named ‘pee slippers’, he travels to a nearby station, ends up stealing a suitcase full of millions, meets a convicted murderer, an elephant and partakes in a highway chase. Such absurd adventures are intwined with flashbacks of Allan’s earlier life which involved his alcoholism, meeting controversial historical figures such as Mao Tse-Tung and Stalin!

Despite the witty humour, dark satire and in-depth characters, I didn’t completely love the book. The writing style took me a while to get used to and I did find it overly bizzarre.